In April, I was offered a job at the office du-jour. I was cc’d on a flattering e-mail, addressing team leads, about my skills and personality. If they wanted to hire me, I was theirs, according to the e-mail.
WELL. I’M SOLD. Here I am thinking I was doing a so-so job of directing calls and accidently dialing 911. I guess people liked that I consistently said “good morning” and “have a good night.” Except on Fridays, don’t tell people, “See ya Monday!” The M- word is the last thing people want to hear on their way out.
After the initial euphoria of reading nice things about myself, I thought whoa- hold the phone. Before this e-mail was sent out, nobody asked me if I wanted to work there permanently. Is the gloriousness of being offered a job at this spectacular establishment such a high honor… blah blah adjectives blah blah job… ugh, I became a little overwhelmed. I mentioned before, I have a degree in journalism (stop laughing, asshole), not a degree in answering peoples’ questions about mortgages. I weighed my options, to use the degree or not to use the degree:
If I work here, will I wake up 20 years later, still in a cubicle surrounded by mortgages? :(
Health insurance! :)
Time to pay back student loans! But I will be able to? :\
I will not be able to do anything else besides pay back loans because my salary is basically the same as my receptionist temp position. :(
Adds to my resume, gives me some new office skills and knowledge of the mortgage industry. :)
But this isn’t what I want to do! :\
…I’m not sure what I want to do. >:(
Do you want to slap me? Or salute me? I want to hold my head under the tepid water of an overflowing bathtub is what I want to do (I’ll come up for air, cool it).
I was surprised because I did not think I’d be offered a job at that particular office. I knew it was a temporary assignment for a month (turned into two months) and then it was onto the next gig. I’m doing temp work to make sure there are no gaps in my resume and more importantly, to save money. I love Arizona, but it is a hot and angry place. I’d like to save enough money to get out. I’m not saying, ohhh I want to be a writer who lives in Paris. Barf. I want to be a gainfully employed lady living in not Arizona.
I turned down the job.
Take a minute to craft a mean comment highlighting my indecisiveness. I’ll wait.
So, I decided to write this post because of the recent graduation articles going around and all the talk about the whiney, entitled and screwed Millenial generation.
Everything sucks, everything is the worst, there are no jobs, you are all big, fat babies, your dad still pays for your shit, go work at Mcdonald’s, why did you spend so much money to go to school. WELL, SHIT.
I was born in 1985. I guess that makes me a “Millenial” or “Gen Y”. Wikipedia and Jezebel conversations are my sources and they seem unsure, too. Also, I’d like to meet the person naming these generations and deciding the time frame. That person is an idiot. How am I in the same generation as someone born in 2000? Those kids never had to use a card catalog at the library in elementary school! Or use a pay phone in middle school when it was time to call your mom after the movies! Did they use Lisa Frank trapper keepers? I wonder what those 2000 babies will say about the kids born around 2015? “We had to rely on iPhones! They don’t know how lucky they have it with their iPeople!”
Right, back to millenial-shmenial. So, yes. In this economic climate, I turned down a so-so job. With benefits and health insurance. To continue temping. I’m not sure if I’m repeating myself for you, to let this information really sink in, or if I’m just reiterating to myself that I’m an asshole. I don’t want to be the next Lena Dunham (who I am one year older than, fyi. I love and hate your success, Lena), but I know deep down, down there where my drive and desire is, no not that part,… where my desire to lead an interesting and unpredictable life is- is not at a mortgage company. I don’t know where it is, either. Because I’m a loser Millenial who just wants my shit NOW.
Not now, now (and that’s it, I’m not calling myself a Millenial anymore.) Temping isn’t so bad. Yes, I live with my parents. I’d be living with them if I took that job, too. I’m saving a nice cushion to move away and leave them be. I’m sure if I didn’t have the luxury of living with them, this post would be different. Also, my mom is a lot of fun, so suck it.
Read this heart-warming gem from Jezebel on May 19:
College seniors who graduated in 2010 carry an average of $25,250 in student debt; total student debt in the U.S. surpassed $1 trillion late last year. And U.S. youth unemployment is now at 18.1% — more than double the national rate of 8.1%. And because the unemployment rate in the U.S. only measures people actively looking for work — not those who are under-employed, or those who have been looking for work so long they’ve given up — the true rate is likely even higher, as evidenced by the fact that the Department of Labor finds that young people’s labor force participation is at its lowest level ever. For black and Hispanic youth, the unemployment rate is even worse: 31% and 20.1%, respectively.
Click the links, too, while you’re at it.
Well, I’m definitely average by the looks of these statistics. But, if I knew then what I know now… I would have applied for more scholarships. I would have saved more money when I was doing pretty well waiting tables in college. I am satisfied with what I studied, however. Speaking of however- I can’t go back and re-do any “would haves” SO- I will keep temping for the time being because it is mostly interesting and unpredictable; I will keep looking for another job that mostly satisfies me. I didn’t expect to be so confused after college. But I am. I don’t need the perfect job (ice cream taste tester for $2 million a bite). I just don’t want look at mortgages all day.
I’ll be in that bathtub now.